valkyrieza: (Firefly - Isn't that special)

As a long-time D&D player, I had to laugh. Getting upset over idiotic cartoons only leads to idiots producing more of the same. Still, the guy and gal at Robot's Pajamas summed it up rather nicely.

D&D Kills with the Help of Satan!

If there’s one thing that the Bible has taught me, it’s that Dungeons and Dragons is evil. The tool of the devil, which disguises itself as a “game”, is a gateway to the world of the occult and Satan worship. In order to better illustrate this I’m posting Dark Dungeons, an informative little piece written in the early eighties that I should have known existed, but didn’t until I discovered it in a Topless Robot article.

You can’t tell me there’s not at least one fatty that plays with this group. This is also the only D&D session in the history of mankind where the number of girls equals the number of guys and there’s a hot female DM.

 

 

Read more... )

 

Small Print: This tract is copyright is owned solely by Jack Chick Publications. Please visit their website and buy lots of their tracts, if you enjoy them. They appear on this site for review purposes only.
valkyrieza: (NCIS - Tony McGee)
Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] nimnod  I just had to rewatch the latest "Big Bang Theory". I completely forgot about this little tidbit right at the end of the episode. It is kinda of spoilery, but only a little if i think about it.

Image behind the cut )


valkyrieza: (NCIS Gibbs LMAO)
I cannot help giggling when I read this. The author wonders what would be the reactions if cooking books' devotees behaved like RPG(roleplaying) geeks.

Appears on Alt Text, with commentary by Lore Sjöberg.

Cookbooks are a lot like Dungeons & Dragons and other role-playing games. They contain seemingly rigid rules that, in practice, require a certain amount of adaptation for your own tastes.

So how come cooking gets its own TV channel and role-playing games don't even get a show on G4? Maybe the population at large doesn't want to pretend to be a half-elf. Maybe RPGs take more imagination than most people have.

However, it just might have something to do with the role-playing community. If geeks talked about cookbooks the way they talk about RPG books, the results would not be pretty:

Posted: 12:15 a.m. by LordOrcus I'm so mad that there's a new edition of The Better Joy Cookbook out. Thanks for making my old copy obsolete, you greedy hacks! For five years now, my friends have been coming over for my eggplant Parmesan, and now I'm never going to be able serve it again unless I shell out 35 bucks for the latest version.

Posted: 12:42 a.m. by KathraxisHey, I have a question! When you preheat the oven, can you start it before you measure out the ingredients, or do you have to do it afterward? Please answer quickly, my friends and I have been arguing about it for four hours and we're getting pretty hungry.

Roleplay..err cooking woes )

Posted: 2:17 a.m. by LordOrcus I have read the new Better Joy Cookbook and I am devastated to my very core. Their macaroni and cheese recipe, the very macaroni and cheese I've been making since I was in college, has been ravaged and disfigured and left bleeding on the page. Where once it contained only cheddar cheese, now the recipe calls for a mix of cheddar and Colby. It may contain macaroni, and it may contain cheese, but it is not macaroni and cheese. This is a slap in the face and a knife in the gut. You have lost me, Better Joy Cookbook. I would bid you goodbye, but I wish you nothing but the pain and rage you have delivered unto me.



Copyrighted to Alt Text.
valkyrieza: (Frogs and princess)
Report: Nation's Gentrified Neighborhoods Threatened By Aristocratization

March 31, 2008
 
WASHINGTON—According to a report released Tuesday by the Brookings Institution, a Washington-based think tank, the recent influx of exceedingly affluent powder-wigged aristocrats into the nation's gentrified urban areas is pushing out young white professionals, some of whom have lived in these neighborhoods for as many as seven years.
Enlarge Image Castle

Multibillion-dollar castles like this one have been popping up all over Brooklyn.



All the usual copyrights apply.
valkyrieza: (P&P - drama queen)
From the press office of Mayor Tertius Rattus, esq
My fellow rats, it is with great sorrow that I want to announce the passing of our dear fellow, Mr Frikkus de Raties. He was an upstanding member of our community greatly contributing to the rise of our population, even winning the prestigious 'Breeder of the month' award for our area. Unfortunately, he was struck in the prime of his life by the terrible tragedy that is human poison. Mr de Raties took his upcoming death stoically, gently refusing the help from his innumerable children and the current Mrs de Raties, who is affectionately known to us as Mookie. He has chosen a place of choosing to die on his own, as befits an upstanding member of his community.

Please join us for the funeral tomorrow where cheese and garbage au tartaire will be served by our very own Mookie and afterwards, you are invited to the general forum about the decreasing food supply in the area due to the humans'  food price rise.

In the meanwhile, back at the human settlement....

"Gregory, get up to the geyser area and see what is happening!"  Gregory is also called 'Daddy' by me

"I am telling you, since they installed the new geyser, everything in that area is clean.. Oh, wait, I see it, a dead rat indeed. It is quite a huge one."

EWWW - there is no way to describe my Mom's response phonetically.

My mother drops off something to put the rat in plus a can of Doom to spray and like Superman, uses her super speed to disappear downstairs.
I reluctantly accept the package with the corpse and drop it off in the communal gardens to dispose of later.
My Dad descends the small ladder which he used to get up to the attic area where the geyser is and goes off to dispose the corpse.
I open every single window in my room to refresh the air.

THE END.

P.S. The reason my mother identified the smell as that of a decaying body? She used to work in the morgue when she was studying part-time for her degree and then a few years after that.
valkyrieza: (Karev)

I do not hold Mr Jeremy Clarkson in high regard because of his Top Gear series. I do admire him for his turn of phrase, wonderful column writing style and his columns' absolute hillarity.  As this article would indicate.
valkyrieza: (writing)
One of the chapters will start like this:

   " You know the common legend of walking in a crowded place when you suddenly stumble and kept from falling by strong arms of a good-looking stranger? This is then recounted as the tale on how you met your future souldmate? Well, that never happens. I should know, I tried.

   I mean at most that one can achieve is your brand new expensive top becomes smudged with some sort of a raspberry-vanilla-hazelnut ice-cream concoction that never washes off and the tiny mostrosity with a lisp will loudly demand another portion as his had been ruined by the big bad villain, meaning you. So instead of apologising for her spawn's behaiviour, the obese hag will send you a look venomous enough to classify as a weapon of mass destruction and walk off with a huff dragging the little monster by his sticky hand.

That of course makes you wonder on why you embarked on trying to meet any handsome strangers at all if the end result will leave you looking like Barney the purple Dinosaur, whilst you try not to lose sight of the mutants who by age 5 have the agility of Spiderman on speed. Naturally, looking at thinner, younger inspiration of Sports Illustrated model will put you in the mood to scare off Grendel's mother. So why do we still pursue the hope of meeting good looking strangers in futile attempt to fulfill the illusion portrayed on the Mills and Boon's covers?"
valkyrieza: (Default)

God of the Celtic Otherworld, this doleful character in his grey cloak is the Lord of Annwn.

He is fond of taking his Hounds of Hell for a run to track down lost souls. This causes people to stay away and shun the Otherworld, which helps to keep the riff-raff out.

These days, the untrammelled wastes of Hell are always subject to the threat of golf courses and marketing conventions.

ANNWN: The Welsh Otherworld, ruled by Arawn.

As permanent rest homes go, it has a five star rating. Amenities include a magic cauldron presided over by nine maidens which has total restorative properties. A fountain of wine. Splendid gardens and orchards. Excellent bird-spotting facilities. Unique weather settings which render central heating obsolete.

There is only one rule. Do not attempt to touch or steal the cauldron. Any attempt is doomed to failure — with the emphasis on Doom.

The Roman God of Wine and Orgies. Oh, you know about him already do you?

This drunken rake used to be called Liber but changed his name to avoid arrest for indecent behaviour.

Known as Dionysus among the Greek free-drinkers, he was constantly surrounded by nubile orgasmic ladies who called themselves Bacchae — although the Greeks called them Maenads and the newspapers called them something else entirely.

Courtesy of godchecker.com

Fences

Nov. 14th, 2006 10:24 am
valkyrieza: (Cyclops)
http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2006/11/fences.html

Don't know what is more scary, that this makes sense or the fact that whatever is happening in the region is even crazier.
valkyrieza: (Back Off)
I gave everybody my wishlist of computer hardware for my birfday, but nobody bought me anything :-(. Oh and [profile] vixzen  said they wanted to play WoW but they didn't show up :-(. Oh yeah. [personal profile] claidheamhmor  told me that [profile] jonty  told [personal profile] mysehnsucht  that I got caught talking to [personal profile] hravan  and talking crap about [profile] brabruski . Yeah right! If I get my hands on them and I'm gonna tear off their head and s*** down their neck hole! This entry automatically generated by the LJ Drama Generator!

Thanks to [profile] margs114
valkyrieza: (doctor picard vulkan salute)
Denmark has a tendency to have wet snow and freezing winds. Having experienced a taste of things to come last week, we have decided to buy jackets for ourselves. One of the ladies from work has graciously volunteered to take us to some factory shops so we could get the jackets cheaper. The main shopping was to be done near the docks, where there is a mini-mall of designer brands factory outlets.

The area is called Østerport, and the shops are right on the docks so I took a few more pictures with my cell (it would have been a bit of a mission to carry a camera bag when one does shopping). The area is beautiful and if I could rent there, I would.

So here some scenery shots.


Along the road, near the shops.



The view across the harbour. The thin dark light on the horizon - that's Sweden. The town closest to Denmark is Malme, about a half-an hour train ride.



Just a nice view of the harbour dock on a clear Saturday morning.



A thousand years ago, or maybe more, mighty Vikings looked ahead for potential bounty on the opposite shore, where those cars now stand.  These days, Malme is a good bargin-hunting place, where all the goods are stuffed into the boot of the cars after shopping sprees. A similar situation in modern times methinks, but I think the Vikings had cooler armour and no number plates. After all, what kind of a Viking name is 'BMW'?  *Grin*


The view is simply spectacular, despite it's being a late autumn.



The street about 50-70m away from the harbour. The buildings are mainly new and very neat. One snag about living there, a 2-3 bedroom apartment can cost about 70 000 DKK a month, that's about R91 000 or  £6500. So unless I marry a Danish millionare, the closest I can come to living there is working at a nearby office block.



A local marina near the shops we were at. I'm sure there are plenty more grander boat and yachts on other marinas, but we were late getting to the Nike factory outlet on the other side of town. So not enough time to explore or shop. Those factory outlets were much cheaper then regular shops despite selling some good well-known brands; but have one tried shopping longer when shoping with 3 males, who already finished their shopping? Well, I'm coming back to this part of town in the fiture, that's for sure. Who knows, maybe I'll meet a Danish millionare (most likely from very very far away).



After much travelling, we finally did get to the Nike factory store and I did manage to buy a jacket. Of course it seems silly, to spend a lot of time just to buy a jacket from a brand name and not something that is much cheaper. This is not the case however, when it is -7 Degrees and a freezing harsh wind is trying to knock you over. A certifiable, waterproof and waterresistant jacket is a heavensend.

P.S. If all goes well at work, I shall be going to the Denmark countryside to a modern arts museum about an hour outside Copenhagen this weekend. More pictures from me then.
valkyrieza: (Firefly_quote)
I've joined the mob of those people who are addicted to the show "Desperate Housewives". It's certainly not an excuse to watch the poor Eva Longoria in skimpy outfits, well, for some, maybe, but I was pleasantly stunned to find a solid story, good acting performance and great production. Perhaps those who recommended the show to me, mainly guys at work, went on about poor Eva too much, certainly not a good way to get me to spend my time on a series that flaunts itself in the trailer as an on-screen version of Mills and Boon's for the middle-aged. I do like the parody, the biting and very subtle satire that is oh-so-correct and the incredible performances by Felicity Hoffman and Teri Hatcher.

Of course, the eye candy provided by delectable yet manly James Denton and Richard Burgi (remember the "Sentinel") is certainly well worth it, but the calm, sarcastic voice of the dead neighbour, narrated by actress Brenda Young is a sharp reminder this is not your average schmaltzy glitzy drama-wannabee soapie.

In short, I'm set to finish off the first season by end of the weekend. I'm hoping that the story will stay on par with the 30% of the series I've seen so far. Despite two assignments that are due very soon.

Just to vindicate myself, I have bought the first seaon of Grey's Anatomy to appear to be a more serious, literate viewer - at least to my mind:)
valkyrieza: (Shep2)
I had not really been posting due to some things in my life taking priority, work, personal life, etc however I am glad that some people have their priorities in order:

In June, the leading Hindu cleric in the Kashmir area of Pakistan
demanded a judicial investigation as to why the holy, phallus-
shaped object (a "lingam") in the Amarnath shrine appeared not to
be of naturally-formed ice but of imported soft snow.  The annual
pilgrimage to worship it (the fertility deity Shiva) depends, the
cleric said, on ice formations from inside Amarnath, and some
leaders are upset that Shiva this year just doesn't look right.
[Khaleej Times-Agence France-Presse, 6-19-06]

You can see this gentelman takes his work very seriously.

valkyrieza: (Jack bored)

Source DutchGuard.com

Price: $99.95

iCarta iPod Toilet Roll




Now you can Enhance your Experience in any room with your favorite music with the iCarta iPod Toilet Roll.

Features:


• 4 Integrated high performance moisture-free speakers deliver exceptional clarity and high quality sound
• Charges your iPod while playing music
• Audio selector allows you to play iPod shuffle or other Audio device
• Integrated Bath tissue holder that can be easily folded as a stereo dock
• Requires AC Power (AC Adapter included)
• Easy to remove from Wall Mount

Specifications:


Dimension (W x H x D):
8.25in x 3.68in x 7.12in
210mm x 93mm x 181mm

Power Requirements:


12.5 V, 1.25A AC adapter

Speakers:


2 x tweeters for highs
2 x woofers for lows

Made For iPod: - Compatible with all iPod with dock connectors.

The state of the art device, called an iCarta, makes it easier for people to listen to beats while using the bathroom.


valkyrieza: (Jack bored)

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of

evil...prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed

to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

    (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

valkyrieza: (Nate_Well)

So, after watching "Poseidon" I scampered back home for a mini-braai my folks have decided to initiate. My hunger satisfied I managed to get to the computer before my parents could appropriate it for games. (I swear, on weekends I barely touch the PC).



Plotting heavily in Anthemion story lines (a writing software tool) I noticed a grinding noise coming from the vicinity of my computer. That is it, I decided, my CD writer had finally konked out having heard similar noises from it before. I removed the CD and for a moment the noise seemed to have subsided. I sighed in anticipation of getting another DVD writer, a DUAL Layer this time, then I heard the noise again. Horrified, I stared at my beloved DVD writer which currently had "Prison Break" in, quitting the minimized Power DVD application I ejected the suspect DVD examining it for any scratches. None were to be found.


Puzzled I closed the DVD writer, a nagging nauseating sensation originating in the pitt of my stomach. Could that be? Is this truly my Hard Drive slowly laying down it's disc operations? Would I need to get another one in a hurry or revert  to use for a short timeone of my older hard drives? I ran the scandisc tool with slightly trembling fingers navigating my mouse. The check came back clean so I risked a lengthy defragmentation of my drive, watching the display and listening to the annoying grinding noise that stopped abating and carried on regardless of the progress shown on my monitor. The defrag did not finish as my frayed patience decided to cancel it  and investigate the problem at the source.


This more drastic action involved the search for my trusty compound Compaq screwdriver and moving the heavy workstation desk away from the wall as to get the space for my hand to disconnect the wires. With anticipation of doom and maybe blown motherboard caps I shutdown my PC. Disconnecting the power and starting to push the computer from the workstation desk,  that is when I heard it again, the hoarse grinding noise sounding like every piece of machinery dying down as the cataclysm descends upon us. I glanced directly above me to find the old lounge clock that my mother decided to put above my workstation, clicking away noisily as the seconds' hands moved within the minute of my observation of the wall clock.


Aargh!
The clock is being moved today to another location.
valkyrieza: (Default)
It is with a heavy heart, that I defriend someone to whom I have gotten closer over some time. It is not done out of spite or anger but out of love. I just feel that currently my interests and goals do not match those that you offer. I hope that all my other friends will continue to support you and once I have achieved the GOAL, a goal you help to derail everytime I see you, we can be friends again.

So please, ladies and gents, do not be mad at me but it something that I must do and for that, I official defriend chocolate.

It is sad, but if I am to achieve losing weight, knowing these facts, I have to stop taking it.

Sigh, in turn I friend someone I am not that fond of but who I know will help me arrive at my aim. Please meet this entity.
valkyrieza: (Wondering by the waterfall)
If only my gym teachers were so pilable although by the end of it I was faking excuse letters right left and centre:)
Anyone do the same?


 Earlier this year in separate incidents, two physical education teachers at Ernest Ward Middle School in Pensacola, Fla., were arrested and charged with bribery for allowing students to avoid gym classes by paying the teachers money. Tamara B. Tootle, 39, charged in April, allegedly gave students credits at $1 per student per class, and Terence Braxton, 28, arrested in February, pleaded guilty in May to a similar scheme, admitting to making at least $230. [Tampa Tribune-AP, 4-8-06] [Pensacola News Journal, 5- 18-06]
valkyrieza: (Fairchild)
Litigations
In March, a jury in St. Louis,
Mo., awarded Gretchen Porro $100,000 for the loss of two fingers
at the City Museum's Puking Pig attraction.  Although the exhibit
was closed, Porro nonetheless crossed a railing and stuck her hand
inside the machinery to get it to release a vat full of water.  (The
jury valued the injury at $500,000 but said Porro was 80 percent at
fault.)
St. Louis Post-Dispatch, 1-4-06

Pays to be bad
 In March, a 10-year-old boy in
Torquay, England, was awarded the equivalent of almost $2,800
following his expulsion from school for selling marijuana.  The
local government agreed that his school had acted too slowly in
fulfilling its duty to find the expelled boy alternate schooling.
BBC News, 23-3-06

Make the criminal feel at home

The Oakland (Calif.) Tribune, reporting in March on recidivist-robber Eugene Rutledge,
21, found that employees at one Taco Bell were so accustomed to
Rutledge's robbing them that as soon as he appeared at the door,
they would ritually open the cash register for him.

Obsessive reader
Police in the Ibaraki prefecture north of Tokyo arrested a 70-
year-old man in April after the manager of a 7-Eleven reported that
the man had menaced him with a chainsaw.  The would-be
customer apparently came to the store every day only to read from
various magazines for sale, and after several hours, the manager
finally ordered him to leave.  The man returned a short time later
with the chainsaw, cranked it up, and shouted, "I'll cut you to
pieces."  He then laid it down and resumed reading and was still
reading when police arrived.
 BBC News, 6-4-06

From www.NewsoftheWeird.com


Just another report on our crazy world, I feel much better after reading it and recommend it to anyone with a sense of humour. 

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valkyrieza: (Default)
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