Driver's Guide To The Universe

Spotted in traffic on the way to work this morning.  The vehicle with a number plate of "Tsabus GP". I have no clue what it means.

This was taken on the way to work along one of the busiest street in the morning traffic in Johannesburg, Jan Smuts. Of course, there maybe a possibility they'll rename the street, but I would rather they take care of other obstructions first.



I still have no idea why does one need to overturn the Bus stop, but it has been there for several days.

Whew, this has been a very busy morning. I have to confess to a huge fault here: Over the past year and a half or so I had developed this alarming vice, namely being late to things. This is indeed strange and a bit damaging since I used to be a very punctual person and now, all I do is take my bloody time and end up being late to things and not being worried about it at all. So this is my pre-New Year resolution - STOP BEING LATE. I mean it is rather embarassing, especially if it is happening again and again and well. This never looks good on performance reviews either.

Fortunately, today is not the day to beat myself with that particular stick as I was about 20 minutes early. Strangely, "Monday Morning" traffic  was very reasonable today and surprisingly, I managed to bypass all the nasy 'stuck' areas; maybe most people were recovering from that idiotic cycle race sponsored by one of the bigger radiostations, namely 94.7 HighADveld Stereo. However, the most amusing part of my sojourn today was driving behind a silver Peugot 206 with a licence plate of "PURRFCT". I am not pulling anyone's legs here, the personalized licence plate proudly displayed "PURRFCT GP" for all the world to see, despite the driver seriously lacking in the ability to operate the vehicle.

I've got to admit, I like Monday morning traffic.  By the time I leave, around 8:15 everyone has already left, earlier then usual to tackle the traffic problems that arise in the early morning. The highway is nice and clear and even the trucks behave. However all that free-flowing traffic converts to the usual nightmare of idiotic drivers, trying to see how slow they can go over a fast-changing robot! (take deep breaths)

One of the biggest amusements in the traffic for me is take note of the other drivers. It is so easy to see the "jocks" in their Golfs and Chicos, or the self-important but clueless looking BMW drivers(probably managers) or the falling-to-bits old Ford Cortinas, usually driven by women around my age.

Mostly it is easy to predict, the "jocks" drive fast and dangerously close to you if you drive less then 30km over the speed limit trying to get past you.

The BMW and Mercedes drivers slow down at the most inopportune times, e.g. before a fast-changing robot remembering if they should turn here or not (I wonder when the BMW group will invent a built-in secretaries into the auto-drive system: "Remember to turn here sir, you are going to work for an hour before you have to play golf.")

The old beaten up Cortinas and Renault are either speeding like there is no tomorrow or make the makers of the K-53 driving tests proud.

My favourites are the middle-aged ladies in snazzy Citroens who drive just slow enough to get out of the way of the overtaking Golfs and just fast enough to overtake the puzzled managers in their BMW's. Stopping behind one of them I am often amused at the simultaneous actions of putting on make-up, holding the car steady and drinking coffee.  So this multitasking is even funnier when I read my weekly doze of "News of the weird" this morning:

1) Lance Kocses, 30, was cited by police for causing a $5,000
accident in Seminole, Fla., in May; according to a sheriff's deputy,
Kocses was distracted in making a left turn because he was eating
from a bowl of Frosted Flakes. (2) According to a lawsuit filed in
June in Minneapolis, the reason Minnesota Timberwolves
basketball player Eddie Griffin drove his SUV into the plaintiffs'
parked car was that, at the time, he was watching a pornographic
video and masturbating.  (Police cited Griffin only for inattentive
driving.) [St. Petersburg Times, 5-10-06] [St. Paul Pioneer-Press,
6-30-06]

The most I could manage was type out an SMS in traffic...

So JHB traffic provides all sorts of amusement for anyone who cannot stomach the long drawn out monologues by Jeremy Mansfield about his lack of music knowledge and antics of yet another one of his high-powered buddies.