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A tragic and somewhat harrowing tale
Mar. 28th, 2008 08:27 pmFrom the press office of Mayor Tertius Rattus, esq
My fellow rats, it is with great sorrow that I want to announce the passing of our dear fellow, Mr Frikkus de Raties. He was an upstanding member of our community greatly contributing to the rise of our population, even winning the prestigious 'Breeder of the month' award for our area. Unfortunately, he was struck in the prime of his life by the terrible tragedy that is human poison. Mr de Raties took his upcoming death stoically, gently refusing the help from his innumerable children and the current Mrs de Raties, who is affectionately known to us as Mookie. He has chosen a place of choosing to die on his own, as befits an upstanding member of his community.
Please join us for the funeral tomorrow where cheese and garbage au tartaire will be served by our very own Mookie and afterwards, you are invited to the general forum about the decreasing food supply in the area due to the humans' food price rise.
In the meanwhile, back at the human settlement....
"Gregory, get up to the geyser area and see what is happening!" Gregory is also called 'Daddy' by me
"I am telling you, since they installed the new geyser, everything in that area is clean.. Oh, wait, I see it, a dead rat indeed. It is quite a huge one."
EWWW - there is no way to describe my Mom's response phonetically.
My mother drops off something to put the rat in plus a can of Doom to spray and like Superman, uses her super speed to disappear downstairs.
I reluctantly accept the package with the corpse and drop it off in the communal gardens to dispose of later.
My Dad descends the small ladder which he used to get up to the attic area where the geyser is and goes off to dispose the corpse.
I open every single window in my room to refresh the air.
THE END.
P.S. The reason my mother identified the smell as that of a decaying body? She used to work in the morgue when she was studying part-time for her degree and then a few years after that.
My fellow rats, it is with great sorrow that I want to announce the passing of our dear fellow, Mr Frikkus de Raties. He was an upstanding member of our community greatly contributing to the rise of our population, even winning the prestigious 'Breeder of the month' award for our area. Unfortunately, he was struck in the prime of his life by the terrible tragedy that is human poison. Mr de Raties took his upcoming death stoically, gently refusing the help from his innumerable children and the current Mrs de Raties, who is affectionately known to us as Mookie. He has chosen a place of choosing to die on his own, as befits an upstanding member of his community.
Please join us for the funeral tomorrow where cheese and garbage au tartaire will be served by our very own Mookie and afterwards, you are invited to the general forum about the decreasing food supply in the area due to the humans' food price rise.
In the meanwhile, back at the human settlement....
"Gregory, get up to the geyser area and see what is happening!" Gregory is also called 'Daddy' by me
"I am telling you, since they installed the new geyser, everything in that area is clean.. Oh, wait, I see it, a dead rat indeed. It is quite a huge one."
EWWW - there is no way to describe my Mom's response phonetically.
My mother drops off something to put the rat in plus a can of Doom to spray and like Superman, uses her super speed to disappear downstairs.
I reluctantly accept the package with the corpse and drop it off in the communal gardens to dispose of later.
My Dad descends the small ladder which he used to get up to the attic area where the geyser is and goes off to dispose the corpse.
I open every single window in my room to refresh the air.
THE END.
P.S. The reason my mother identified the smell as that of a decaying body? She used to work in the morgue when she was studying part-time for her degree and then a few years after that.
